tImE fLiEs bY!

The Reality of Life

Lately, I've been talking to a friend a lot and it makes me realize the value of life even more. Personally, I'm a fun, loving person, but that doesn't mean I don't take life seriously, because I do, but I don't let it reflect in my behavior. I don't let my thoughts get in the way of my happiness, and I don't think that I should. This friend of mine, doesn't know the difference between life and death. She feels that death might be easier because after she's dead she'll be free of her problems and sorrows. She feels life isn't all that it should be, she thinks she doesn't deserve anything and she's not worth much. She believes I can't understand what she's going through because I don't know what its like and that I'll never know because I haven't been through it.

She tells me that she wonders sometimes why she's even given a life? What's the point of living such a life?

Her questions shock me, every word that leaves her mouth drips with despair. Why is someone so young so upset with life?

From whatever I know, Its sad what she has to go through everyday, its depressing to see her like this but it just didn't seem like enough to give life up for. The pain from sun rise to dusk turns into tears at night...but should it all end with her last breath? I'm sorry, I really am, but it doesn't make sense to me.

She believes in God, like me, and so i told her to have faith. I asked her why her faith was so weak? I asked her why she thought death will rescue her before her faith would? Why she thought life was so cheap?

Her answers, "I don't want to commit a suicide or anything, but I just wish it would all stop now. I have faith, just not enough."

Well, my question is what makes her so sure that it will all end then? What if it doesn't ...then its a life she wasted, a life, that if she tried she would've made something out of...but when she realizes it, it'll be too late. I hope she reads this post and sees that if she tries now she can be happy, all she has to do is lighten up and see the brighter parts of life...like her friends who really love her and open her eyes to the reality, shes obviously worth a lot, because if she wasn't I wouldn't have sat down for hours to write this post, and explain to her what she's worth. Only those who love you know your real value....in this case me.

So the point of this post is to get a message across that life is very valuable and the question isn't why you're given a life but how you can live it to its fullest. Its important to appreciate it, its that one thing that's yours, and only yours, no one can take that from you. You can live it the way YOU want, I know its easy to say and hard to do, but just once, try living it, it'll be worth it, I PROMISE. life doesn't guarantee anything but does death? NO, it doesn't either, so don't compare them, because while life is that free white bird flying in the morning fresh air, death is that dark night that hides it all in. Its so sad how many times i hear i wanna die in a day, in fact death has become a joke, well I'd like to be that one person who doesn't laugh at it, who doesn't find it funny because honestly, ITS NOT. Every second, is as essential as a breath you take, don't waste it because once its gone, it'll never come back. Live it, love it and most importantly just have fun, be yourself. Once it's over, you'll miss it. 

The Begining of a New Life...

A couple of weeks ago, I made this blog thinking that I would actually sit down every week and write something, something that would help me figure out the real me. Something that would be so pure, as if it won't even be from this world. It was the beginning of a new year, 2010, and I didn't want to let another year just pass me by, I wanted to grab it and hold on to it...as if I wanted to stop time...make it still. So I'd never have to cry, so I'd never have to let go again so I can keep it forever and never feel an emotion ever again.

Anxiously, I made this blog. Then came the reality crash, I took a pen and some paper and thought about what I was going to write in my first post, thousands of words, thousands of emotions, situations, possibilities, reality and worst of all a blank sheet of paper.

Staring at it for hours, i gave up. The silence of my heart disturbed my mind.

Realizing what had just happened, I stepped out to get some fresh air and perhaps, find a voice inside of me. The breeze whispered in my ears as it blew my hair back. I stood there, searching, looking for a meaning to me...an answer to the questions that follow me since my first breath. Was i really going to find a definition in the clouds that were looking for a direction themselves, or the darkness of the night that was waiting for some light to hide into, or the wind that blew only on those that came in its way? Or was it all just a stupid attempt?

IS THERE REALLY A MEANING TO ME? IS THERE A REASON WHY I DO THE THINGS I DO??